


Stay

by ellewe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, a bit of denail but not too much, a little bit of angst but it ends well, canon divergence or canon complaint idk, i swear they are just two idiots in love, kageyama expresses his feeling for once, like this takes place after their last match at the spring high, minor manga spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28408383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellewe/pseuds/ellewe
Summary: “You want to come in?” he repeated at the same time he opened the door to find Kageyama standing before him, as the surprise made him take a step back. Gaze focused on Hinata for a second too long, just to meet every place but him the next.“Okay”
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Stay

It was weird hearing a knock at the door that late at night and Hinata should not have been awake to answer it. But there he was asking for who they were, as low as he could. Trying not to wake up the rest of his teammates, after everything that had happened that day, all of them should be sleeping. And none should want to see him as ill as he was, even if now he felt better.

There was no answer for a moment, and Hinata thought he had imagined it, but then a cough and the last person he thought would do something like that asked him how he was so low Hinata almost missed it.

“Better.” he just said, still surprised that Kageyama was behind the door. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” asked after a moment when he didn’t hear the other boy go away.

“And you?” maybe it was Hinata’s imagination but he could swear he heard teasing in his voice.

“I can’t”

“Are you really okay?” it was asked almost as a whisper thought for Hinata to miss, but he was too conscious of Kageyama’s presence to miss anything.

It surprised him, Kageyama wasn’t the kind of person who came to you and asked anything or knew how to care out loud about the others. Even if Hinata knew deep down he did, after everything they have gone through, _they were friends, right?_ Hinata thought after realizing he had no need of hiding the truth.

“You want to come in?” but he wasn’t going to tell him with a door between them.

“What?”

“You want to come in?” he repeated, marking each word, at the same time he opened the door to find Kageyama standing before him, as the surprise made him take a step back. Gaze focused on Hinata for a second too long, just to meet every place but him the next.

“Okay” he said after a second, but it sounded almost like a question. Cautious steps taking him inside and shutting the door behind him as Hinata sat again on the futon, waiting for Kageyama to do the same. But the other boy just stood there, looking at everything without knowing what to do, everywhere but Hinata.

So he smiled and told him he could sit if he wanted, almost laughing because that awkward Kageyama was the one Hinata knew how to deal with. So used, to being loud when he was quiet, laughing when he frowned, or asking for a toss even when he wasn’t going to give it to him. That was what Hinata was used to, not the concern in his voice before and he wondered for a second if it would be possible for them to sneak out and just play, make some passes, and forget everything else... 

The seconds passed and he said nothing, but at least Kageyama stayed beside him, and even if it was far, Hinata realize it was closer than they had never been before. Even if his teammate was still missing his graze, and he looked sad.

“You came to see if I was okay?” asked Hinata, still without believing half of it. A small laugh breaking the silence. A bad try to make him feel better.

“Yeah… Are you?” but Kageyama didn't seem so sure.

“Wow,” he laughs, “I think I didn’t hear well…” Hinata smiled at him, even if Kageyama wasn’t looking back and almost seemed angry to be teased like they used to. But Hinata didn’t like to lie, so he didn’t bring himself to answer.

“You, dumbass.” _that was more like it_ , Hinata thought.

“Here it is.” and even if he didn't understand, Kageyama relaxed. Their old dynamic being the safest place he could find.

“I was worried.” and when Kageyama spoke it seemed the truth.

“You aren’t anymore?”

Kaygeya growled, fighting back a smile and losing every time, still without looking at Hinata beside him. So he came closer and took the sleeve to bring his attention to him.

And w hen he finally did it seemed so clear how he was trying to keep all his worries hidden. Even if the words that left him made Hinata want to push him away.

“I see you are still a dumbass so it can’t be that bad.” _Idiot_ , Hinata thought but said nothing. 

His blue eyes fixed now in him and Hinata lost a bit in it, in the way Kageyama seemed so focused that Hinata got scared he saw right through him. But what he was going to do with the things he saw? 

He had the right to be sad, and angry and hiding it if he wanted. Even if Hinata was not sure if he wanted to hide it that much, at least to him. 

So he looked back, not parting their grazes, a challenge it seemed, even if Kageyama felt something wrong in it, something missing… That golden graze disproved from all the light he didn't know he had gotten used to. And even behind the smile, Kageyama could see the lies. And it felt more wrong than anything that had happened that day, all the lost points and missed opportunities and early ends. It felt so wrong seeing Hinata anywhere near sadness that Kageyama wanted to find all the ways he could make it go away, to bring that light back to him.

So, he came closer because Hinata had not let him go, because he thought it could help, at least for him it would. And Hinata didn’t hide his surprise when the setter wrapped his arms around him in a hug and it took a second too long, when Kageyama almost push away, for him to do the same. Making for Kageyama impossible to leave his side. Hinata closed his eyes when Kageyama brought him closer.

The day after that last match had been wrong. All that day after Hinata had left the court had felt wrong for Kageyama. Not having him near, asking for a toss, or just calling his name... And he didn’t understand how or when he had got so used to the other's presence, to his constant comings and goings and his loud voice always demanding his attention, always _there_ … 

But in the end, he had gone away too. So if Hinata wasn’t there Kageyama thought he had to go to him. Because, now, at least he was there, by his side and things didn’t feel so wrong anymore.

“We lost” was all that Hinata said, hiding his face against Kageyama.

“The others were just better.” and it was the truth, even if it hurt. Because if you were not the best you didn’t get to stay. Both of them knew that. It wasn’t their first loss and it wouldn’t be the last. 

But it hurt anyway and it would not make them want less. They just needed more. More time in the curt, more tosses, and more minutes played, more seconds together... 

But it had ended so quickly it wasn’t fair… It didn’t seem so, at least. 

_But I’m good,_ Hinata thought. _We are good_. He knew it, he had to remember himself that he knew it and was the truth before other thoughts catch him. They just weren’t the best, _yet_.

“I should have stayed until the end. I wanted to stay until the end.” Because that was all Hinata needed to do just be like the others, as worthy as them to be where they were. Hinata knew, he needed to be the best just to be given the change that Kageyama and the others were born to claim. 

But he had not been enough and everything had ended.

These days had not been enough, but they were not an end either. It didn’t need to be, it was just a bad day that had taken away too much.

“Next year we…” as Kageyama could read him he spoke. “not all of us... But...you and me, and the others and the second years... and we will be better.”

It felt strange to have Kageyama comforting him, to feel his cheeks warm against his chest, his eyes burning with tears fighting to come out. Hinata had always thought it would be the other way around, he was the one good with people and words, the one used to losing, not Kageyama. _But they had been so close…_

And it seemed that his voice was the only thing Hinata needed right now.

He laughed, without realizing it because this was stupid. Kageyama was right and he was an idiot who needed his setter to come to take care of him after losing a match. But that didn’t make Kageyama stop talking, because he wanted that laugh back, the real one. The one who made Kageyama believe it was possible to make Karasuno his team, his friends. So he did the impossible, the last thing he thought he would ever do, and kept himself talking everything he really thought.

“You'll be better, I know…” he almost regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. Hinata broke apart and looked at him, directly, head tilted as if Kageyama was a difficult question he wanted to know the answer to. And said nothing, big eyes focused on him, pushing Kageyama to keep talking, to fill the silence so he would not have to think about how cold he felt now without Hinata against him. “ You are so much better than last year, and I know you are not at your best yet.”

“Why?” _why are you saying this? why you seem like you believe it? I failed I failed I failed._ Hinata could not stop the thoughts this time.

“Because I'm not and I'm not letting you win.” Kageyama tried to smile, in the way he usually did and failed and should have been scary, but made Hinata inside collapse and bloom anew. “You are going to be better, so I can crush you at your best.”

It was a wish and an order, or maybe just a challenge, but made Hinata smile. He was not going to lose, and least of all against Kageyama.

“Or maybe, I'll be the one to win.”

“Sure” the setter laughed, as it seemed impossible for it to happen or he just wanted to see it so badly, Hinata could not know. “I would like to see it.”

“Your orders are wishes to me, my king.” Hinata was the only one to laugh, but he didn’t realize the way Kageyama had just shut himself and focused all on him. 

So when Hinata was serious again Kageyama was caught by surprise. Grazes meeting again for too long, before Hinata talked again.

“You really think that?” hope, making him bright again.

“I don’t lie.” Kageyama said, simply, because he didn’t. He didn’t think of it as something necessary and he knew that got so many people angry, but the Karasuno didn’t seem to mind so he had not pushed himself to try anymore. “You are going to be great Hinata, you already are…”

“Most people don't think so. I left…”

“Dumbass.” Kageyama interrupted back, not being able to make himself stop.

Hinata looked back at him like he really was offended this time.

“Do you think I would want to beat a no one?” again that smile, that made Hinata shiver. _Why is he doing all of this?_ he thought.

“Shut up” he almost stood, reaching for all the strength he had left inside him “I'm the one who's gonna beat you.”

“I want to see you try.” a challenge, that damn challenge Hianata just wanted to win so bad.

“Then, don't you dare to look away because I'm gonna be there.” _I’m going to be the best, claim my place. I’m going to be there I’m going to be there I’m going to be there_. _And you will be the one begging for a second chance_. Hinata thought. _And you’ll be there. To watch as I win, to do it by my side._ Or maybe wished.

“I'm not.” Kageyama replayed, focused on him.

_You better don’t_. But Hinata said nothing for a while and Kageyama just stayed there, so damn close.

“Thank you.” Hinata said when the silence became too much. 

Kageyama wanted to say something more, but all the words left him when Hinata came back closer and all the cold he had felt melted away. His head on his shoulder and Kageyama wanted to take his hand, so near and yet so far. To find the new ways in which they could fit. But hold himself back. He hugged Hinata, even if it felt weird and awkward. 

And Hinata let himself feel it, being held, even like that. Not perfect, but theirs. They both knew it would not feel better any other way. And Kageyama couldn't help but imagine staying like this, how it would feel and if it would never stop to ease him. He wanted to stay at Hinata’s side, because he cared for him in ways he was trying to find a name for. Not letting himself think deep down how simple it really was. Too simple just an idiot would deny it.

“Stay” Hinata asked and Kageyama’s heart felt offbeat, relived.

“Okay”

And so he did when Hinata broke apart to lay down and Kageyama found himself doing the same besides him. Eyes locked again, so close and yet so far. Not even touching, almost testing how close they could be until one of them gave up and broke that last distance. 

Kageyama laid still, not wanting to be the one to be rejected, so Hinata had to give in. And wrap his arms against Kageyama's body, looking for the hug and comfort they just needed. Resting his head on Kageyama's neck and when their legs touched, intertwined Kageyama swore Hinata’s fever hadn't gone away. Because clearly the dumbass had been lying, and any of the electricity and warmth running through his body was because that simple touch felt anything near good. 

Their legs intertwined and Hinata's arms around him, Kageyama could feel Hinata’s hands on his back, one almost at the end and the other just going up and down over his shirt, leaving a gentle touch behind not ever staying still. Almost like it wasn't his intention to make Kageyama shiver with every movement, but he did and he put his arm around Hinata making him come closer, begging in silence for the touch not to stop. Hinata's breath on his neck almost felt like a warning.

_What was he doing?_ Kageyama asked himself. But Hinata kept touching his back, and he just wished for it to go farther, Kageyama wanted to take Hinata’s face and make that breathing on his neck stop. Because the thoughts that he was having didn't make sense. 

But Hinata moved, closer if it was possible, and everything seemed to disappear and of course, all the thoughts and wishes made sense. That thought was the only one that had ever made sense for Kageyama.

Because, just that easy Hinata's head went up, and he was facing Hinata again. A new smile on his lips. More relaxed than before, like hiding a secret just from him. And Kageyama couldn't stop himself, he looked down at it without realizing it. Biting his own because wondering how Hinata would feel was more than he had let himself though ever. But they were so close. Closer in every second that passed.

And Hinata was no better, even if Kageyama didn’t seem to see. But where Kageyama was doubts and fears and control, he just knew to be risk and hunger. Letting, always, the wanting of knowing win. Because Kageyama had stayed, because Hinata was not the only one getting closer, and the way he bit his lips made Hinata want to do it himself. Because Kageyama had stayed beside him, and hoped, no, he knew he wanted the same. Because he had just stayed and it was the only thing Hinata wanted to think about.

_I'm here_ , both of them seemed to say.

So he broke that last thing that kept them apart, sick of waiting and imagine and hoping. Ready to find out, heart stopping. He came closer and Kageyama's lips received him with a gasp. A surprise that let pass to acceptance, to Kageyama's hands on his cheek begging him not to go away, not just yet at least, deepening the kiss surprising Hinata. And so Hinata stayed as he was asked, and they kissed. 

Until it seemed it would steal all their breath away. They broke apart for a second and Hinata found out at least how it felt not resisting anymore, getting closer again and biting Kageyama's lower lip, and the gasp that escaped him didn't let down. Kageyama’s name escaped his lips when he felt his weight change beside him, pinning him to the matres. His leg between Hinata’s and the other to his side, hands still on his hips and now his lips all the way down his neck and he couldn't stop himself, all his body went in the way to find Kageyama's. His back arching as he wanted more. More of this feeling and the kisses, and Kageyama besides him and the kindness of that night. _Just more..._

But Kageyama could just think how he was not enough. How he was slow for all the places he wanted to touch Hinata under him. For all the ways he hadn't let himself imagine until now that he would like to be with him. There was no time for everything he wanted. But every time Hinata let out a gasp, said his name, every time that he felt his body come closer he had to stop and see the sun rising beside him. That damn smile who didn’t seem to leave him and kissed it again, and again. Hinata’s hands were finding his way, inside his shirt and Kageyama never had been more bothered by a piece of clothing.

Every second was everything, and too much and far too little. All at the same time but looking at Hinata while he whispered his name like a prayer made all the stars inside him collapse. _Did Hinata’s name felt the same on his lips every time it escaped them? Did he was as happy to hear?_

Kageyama just wanted to find out how many ways his name could still be pronounced by that voice and all the things he could do to find out. 

He just wanted more.

He wanted it to last, to find out why…

So Kageyama parted and looked, resting his hands beside Hinata’s head. One found his cheek and went down his neck when Hinata tried to get back to him. Wide eyes looking back not understanding what was stopping him.

Hinata didn’t understand but didn’t say anything, letting himself imagine what was going inside Kageyama’s mind, focusing on the breath they both missed and the remains against his skin. He rose a hand to his face, fingers playing with his dark hair, and each of his lines and angles drawing them with his touch. And when his fingers disappeared his lips were fast to find all the spots again. Hinata let a trace from Kageyama's forehead to his cheek, to his nose and neck and the spot next to his dark blue eyes now closed. Hinata’s name was a whisper, a wish, when he got closer to Kageyama’s lips, but Hinata didn’t kiss him. He just smiled and made Kageyama part even more with his hand against his chest. A frown he was not used to appearing on his face, but it could not be farther from being angry when his lips were curved in a smile just like his and his voice continued to play dreams against his skin with the shape of his name.

Kageyama wanted to get close again, but Hinata kept pushing away, still smiling, bright as the day had just come again. He ended up on his elbow, both of them facing now. But when Hinata came closer to kiss him was Kageyama turn to take a step back. He wasn’t letting get away with it so easily. Just the second their breath return to normal, the moment before they would meet again, he parted, and Hinata came closer. He let out a curse that made Kageyama laugh. And he tried to keep the distance, but Hinata was faster, always faster, always there. And his legs were beside him, a new weight on his lap and he could swear his heart would beat its way out his ribcage. Beating faster than at any moment before. And that smile, the one he never wanted to be faded away back on his lips. 

Hinata didn’t want to resist anymore, he kissed him like half of the world had been keeping them apart and they just had met again. Like this could bring back the air he lacked. And Kageyama wasn’t a step behind. His hands on Hinata’s hips and his back and up to his neck. Without parting, he went  through every inch of the other he could find while Hinata’s hand’s making him stay in place.

“I think I’m a little better now.” Hinata said with a smile, teasing when he made the intention to get up. But Kageyama caught his shirt before he could go too far.

“Dumbass.”

“Yeah, but who’s the idiot who…” but Kageyama did let him finish. Because maybe he was right and was just an idiot to want to kiss Hinata again, to stay by his side a bit more.

They lose track of time, moments entwined until one of them was strong enough to part. Facing now, their legs still entwined, no words were said or needed. Hinata was playing with Kageyama’s hand in his own, lacing and parting fingers, holding and letting him go, drawing its shape and the lines in his palm. Kissing it when Kageyama stopped his games to let a gentle touch on his face.

“I should go.” But Kageyama didn’t say more, waiting for a reason not to.

“Stay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for reading!
> 
> I had so much fun writing this and I hope it wasn't that bad and you enjoyed it!  
> Any kudos and comments are appreciated!


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